There’s nothing more cyclical than the fashion industry – that being said, should we now rummage through our wardrobes and attempt to dress up to the nines, by layering a red slip dress under a pair of jeans? Probably not, no. All of us are victims to complying to horrendous trends that know-it-all celebs deem as “must haves”, because if Kanye’s wearing his latest Yeezy collection, why wouldn’t we cop. It’s OK though, time passes, fashion moves on and new trends emerge as we hit new seasons. So, if you’re lucky enough no one will remember you wearing your fuchsia bejewelled Juicy Couture tracksuit – matched with your classic UGG’s (unless your friends are ruthlessly disloyal and decide to post them all over Instagram). It was difficult to sort through the worst of the worst trends that ruined fashion forever (AKA denim on denim on denim: the three deadly sins) but here are five that we beg never return. Take notes:
If there is any trend that made little to no sense whatsoever, it’s these shades. Not only does the slatted design make it even more difficult for you to see when the blinding sunlight hits the tacky plastic – they look atrocious on. If they weren’t so tragic, it would almost be funny. Thanks to “trend setting” rappers in the early 2000’s (Mr West of course) these vibrant shades made a reappearance on the block, even your brother, cousin and DAD had a pair. We certainly don’t miss the old Kayne.
Popped Collared Polos
If your aim in life is to be perceived as a complete and utter ass; pop that collar up. Usually worn by wannabe preps, this trend is skyrocketing to No.1 in the ultimate guide of “I live in my mother’s basement and like it”. But, little to my knowledge (and pretty much everyone else’s that exists) this trend was originally designed by a tennis player – a key component of the deign was a flexible collar that could be propped up to protect the tennis player’s neck from the sun. A logical yet practical invention, howbeit, if you’re not Andy Murray, fold your collar down.
What would millennials do if emojis didn’t exist – a question far too deep to attempt to answer. We’ll admit, emojis are a fun form of communication, having said that, you probably shouldn’t bend over backwards to print your most dearest emoji on your best pair of Adidas joggers. You may also be wondering how on earth you can possibly match your monkey emoji joggers with anything else? The answer is, you don’t.
Trainers with a heel – a complete oxymoron. Not only do wedged trainers give off that seedy extra-terrestrial vibe, they go against the rules of science. Trainers just aren’t meant to be uncomfortable. No one can rock these, and we mean NO ONE. Period.
Cardigans… In general
From the early 2000’s it apparently became more popular to dress like your grandma. In case you’re wondering if there is a certain material or colour that a cardigan looks good in – wool, cotton, baby blue or maybe even pastel pink; there isn’t. Just don’t do it.